Have you ever had an experience where something didn’t go the way you’d planned? You know, confidence high, chest puffed out, knowing full well you were going to crush it, and then, BAM, something went wrong.
My son had that experience last week and ended up with a sprained ankle…right in the middle of baseball season. Heartbreaking to say the least. It was hard to see him hurt and not be able to take away his suffering immediately, and harder still to see the disappointment in his eyes that his baseball season was cut short (baseball is his everything to him).
Watching this experience from start to finish, I thought about the perspective I now have on life. My understanding of all things is different at 46 than it was at 10. Unfortunately, I can’t transfer that perspective to my 10 year old. He must gain it for himself and recall it as he ponders future sketchy decisions.
New territory
I’ve had a few sprained ankles over the years but I’m having a new experience, watching my child navigate pain and disappointment on an elevated level. Sure, I can get him to the hospital, I can hold his hand, I can love him and nurture him, I can help him walk to the bathroom, make him dinner, give him his medicine and snuggle up with him. But I can’t make what happened not happen. I can’t magically make his physical or emotional pain go away. I must sit and just be with him during this experience.
Sure he has been hurt before in his decade as a ninja loving baseball player, but this time is different. Watching his team win or lose from the sidelines has been hard. Still cheering and encouraging them to do their best while calling the line up, but I can feel the heaviness of his heart in my own.
Moving forward
He came here to experience life just as I have, just as you have. To experience immense joy, heartbreak, love, disappointment, playfulness, pride, all the things life has to offer.
Unexpected good and bad situations happen, and when they do staying present is important.
When the unexpected is something good, presence allows us to fully receive the moment. Feel it deeply. Embed the experience into our soul and take that feeling with us as we move forward.
When the unexpected is bad, presence allows us to think clearly, make decisions, see the big picture, and protects us from sliding down deep into a sea of despair. Will it protect us from all negative emotion or hardship? No. But it will allow us to give space to what needs to be felt and move forward.