I have been crying a lot lately. I mean, a lot.
Which is kind of weird because I don’t cry that often. But an issue has come to the surface, again, and I guess I have to deal with it…again.
We all have these issues. The sticky ones that come up then go away, that aren’t in our faces every day but are painful enough to wreak havoc on our emotional state when they resurface.
My sticky issue has come to call and I know that if I don’t deal with it the pattern will persist for years to come. Here is the problem, I don’t know how to fix it!
It’s time to get help
To date, when dealing with a particular relationship, my normal M.O. was to just deal with the pain, uncertainty and anxiety that existed between me and the other person. Distancing myself in order to protect myself and keep the peace. I honestly didn’t, and at this point don’t, see a way to make things better.
But I can’t continue to ignore this big problem. If I don’t at least try to do something different, it will hang on for years to come and likely get worse. And the worst part is, it’s not just affecting me anymore. It is affecting multiple members of my family.
My family is tired of seeing me hurt. They are tired of hurting as well. And that’s when I knew it was time to get help.
I am usually pretty good at listening to my own advice, but in this very complex situation, I am stuck. And just like I recommend coaching or counseling to my clients, I recommended counseling to myself.
Why counseling?
Coaching and counseling are two different modalities. Coaching is typically forward focused, goal oriented, and does not typically address deeper emotional issues.
Counseling focuses on exploring past experiences and relieving deeper aggravations, identifying and understanding problems to find a solution, and is health-oriented usually with an emotional component.
I have worked with counselors and coaches before, and in this situation I knew I needed to recommend counseling. Just as if I were a client of mine struggling with the same situation.
Moving forward
I had my first appointment with the counselor and while I know there is a ways to go, I feel good that I took the step to move forward and deal with this situation in a different way.
I am proud of myself for asking for help. I am proud of the people I have around me encouraging me and making it safe to be vulnerable. To express myself in ways that haven’t felt comfortable in the past.
I share this to encourage you to be honest with yourself. To believe it when you are feeling off. To give yourself permission to ask for help. No one needs to stay stuck feeling badly. That said, there is always a right time for us to take the leap.
Do you need a friend/coach/counselor to help you navigate your current challenge? Maybe one, maybe all three.
If you’re wondering which could support you best, reach out. I’d be happy to help you decide what is right, and appropriate, for you.