Post number one, this is sooo exciting!
What should I say?!
Something deep and profound? Something funny? Should it be personal or generic? Should I put a picture with the post, or no picture? Should it be long or short?
How should I send it out? Should I just email it to a few friends, or blast it out to the Twitterverse?
Is anyone even going to read it? Am I wasting my time with this? Are people going to think this is stupid? Probably, it is.
I don’t want it to suck, maybe I should type it out in Word, sit on it for a few days, and edit this simple blog post over and over and over again, then send it to 50 people so I can make sure it’s good (aka get their approval).
You know what, I’m just going to stop for now and come back later. My son is going to be up from his nap soon, so I should get some things done around the house before he wakes up.
End…scene
That’s my internal dialogue. Sound familiar? Now, I’m a pretty optimistic, self-motivated gal, but I still have that little talker inside my head that tries to work her magic on me.
She’s exhausting. Seriously. She makes me think way too much about stupid shit and totally wastes my time. Worst of all, she tries to hold me back.
It’s taken me years to understand this chatty Cathy living inside my brain. What her motives are, why she’s trying to sabotage me, why she won’t just go the hell away.
But, as much as I hate to admit it, she can be useful. I have come to realize that she is there to protect me. So, I use the fears and anxieties she brings up to my advantage, to help me think things through a little more.
Now, she does have a time limit. I don’t have near the time to deal with her that she would like (she is well aware that hyper vigilance runs deep in my blood). But I’m happy to say that after years of being open and honest with each other, we can successfully coexist, and I’m happy to have her on this new ride of mine.
So here’s to 2016! It’s going to be great…I hope.
