Ah, patience.
They say it’s a virtue, right? “They” obviously had children, spouses, and co-workers because it literally takes an act of God to stay patient sometimes. Not only to stay patient, but not take things personally or believe that what’s happening now, what you’re feeling now, is going to continue every day for the rest of your life.
Like, for example, when your child starts totally freaking out because you gave them their second favorite snack instead of their first because you happen to be out of cheddar bunnies, it’s hard to pull yourself off the ledge and say, “Ok, I’m clearly dealing with someone who does not have their shit together. This is not about me or anything I’ve done, and he’s not going to be an irrational person forever. How can I keep from screaming back and respond in a way that works for both of us?”
In case you don’t have kids, that’s a real-life situation. Yes. Really. But even if you can’t relate to that specific experience, no doubt you’ve had similar feelings when dealing with partners and co-workers.
How do you keep yourself from completely exploding? Here’s a little trick.
- Once you recognize that you’re starting to spiral, stop your brain from going any further. Say the word ‘stop’ if you need to.
- Next, detach emotionally from the situation.
- Then, look at what’s happening objectively. Ask yourself questions about what is actually going on.
- Finally, use that information to handle the situation with patience and grace.
If you do these things, you will be less likely to blame yourself and resent others. This process allows you to take care of yourself first, then, if you need to take care of someone else or manage a situation, you can do it from a clearer perspective.
Is this easy? No. Does it take commitment and daily practice (like everything else)? Yes. Can anyone do it? Totally. Does this mean letting people get away with bad behavior? NO! Is it worth it?
ABSO-FREAKIN-LUTLEY!
Having the ability to manage your thoughts, feelings, and actions is like taking back your power from an evil dictator. It’s the ultimate win. Patience is not weakness. It’s not submission. It’s power.
Who do you struggle to be patient with? Do you have a process that’s helped you become more patient? What is your emotional wellness regimen? Comment and let me know.
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