What does a good life look like to you?
Can you feel it in your bones? Can you articulate it? Have you vision boarded it all the way down to the gorgeous husband, 2.5 kids and the Golden Retriever or maybe the high-powered CEO position at a Fortune 100 company?
If you can’t answer this question or your vision has fallen flat on expectations, it’s time to get real. Real comfortable with being uncomfortable. Real interested in yourself. Real honest.
The difficult thing about the last few sentences is that most of us don’t even know where to begin. Worse yet, we feel like we’re being honest with ourselves when in reality we’re simply repeating the messages we heard growing up. The expectations of your family, society’s do’s and don’ts, gender stereotypes and religious beliefs are what you learned, not who you are, so they may or may not be in line with the life YOU want.
The conscious and subconscious lessons of our childhood are so embedded that it takes years to peel off the cloaks of dogma surrounding us to get to the core of who we are as individuals. Unfortunately, we aren’t required to take Me 101 in high school. We aren’t encouraged to dig deep and ask questions to learn the stories that shaped our lives and the lives of our parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Instead, many of us remain ignorant until we get really stuck or have a full blown existential crisis.
If life doesn’t feel like you think it should and you’re struggling, start asking some questions. Learn more about your family and look closely at what you heard from them and the friends, institutions and media that surrounded you growing up. Throughout this process be honest about whether or not these ideals still fit. Maybe they do and maybe they don’t. Heads up, it’s really hard to come to terms with the fact that a narrative, belief system, or behavior no longer fits when it’s been reinforced by people you love and respect for decades, especially if you believe there will be backlash from them.
This is the first step to living a fulfilled, content life. Aligning every aspect of life with your own beliefs and expectations will allow you to live in deep connection with yourself and give you the confidence to navigate the world in a way that works best for you.
We all have our own ‘right time’ to look inward and unpack our bags. Until then we’re just going through the motions.
Have you started unpacking? What have you discovered? Are the people closest to you supportive? Let me know in the comments below.
If you need help with your luggage, I’m here. I can help you get clear and on track to living a more aligned life. Schedule a free consultation today.
